A Single Rose

Her footsteps echoed as she walked along the empty corridors. She peered into the stained glass window, and in the faint glow of a night lamp, she discerned the altar, almost unchanged, just the way she had remembered it. The entire place was deserted, fallen leaves lay thick on the stairs as she stepped out into the dark night. Hannah pulled her jacket closer, hugging herself as the cold bit her. She walked towards the grotto, where a few candles still burnt, probably left by a passerby stopping by after a late shift of work. The moon barely a sliver peered down through the grey clouds, her footsteps were sure as she made her way across the cobblestone paved churchyard, darkened by looming shadows.

A perfunctory prayer hovered over her lips silently as she stood in front of Our Lady, not failing to be struck by the depth in that beautiful face that had her captivated from childhood. But, this was not why she had come here today. Her heart beat quickened as she made her way towards the cemetery. Every sound, the twigs cracking under her shoes, chirping of nightly insects, and the faraway howling of a dog, magnified by the silence of the night, made her nervous. Finally she stood in front of a grave, with a simple headstone. She laid down a single rose on the cold marble. Biting her lip, she held back her tears.

Suddenly the cry of a baby pierced everything else. Hannah woke up with a start, morning sun was filtering gently through the curtains, and her husband was still peacefully asleep, oblivious to John’s cries. As she took the little bundle to her bosom, she tried to shake away her dream, one which recurred every now and then. Losing Tommy had been the hardest thing she had had to overcome in her 28 years. Even after 5 years, a loving husband, and the baby, some stubborn memories refused to fade. As John slipped back into sleep, she gathered her hair into a quick knot and woke up to go about her morning chores like any other day.

Random Gibberish

Why does everyone want relationships?

I once watched an interview that said that boyfriends are for lonely boring people who have too much time on their hands. I was no less fierce in my attacks at the girly fuss and mooning over the one ‘prince charming’ during my school days. I once considered myself invincible to these matters and mocked at people in relationships to be spineless, merely reveling in actions to win approval from another who had just simply hijacked their life.

I was rather happy making friends and living my simple happy life. Maybe that was why I failed to comprehend the exceedingly complicated lives my girlfriends led. To me it seemed as if they perpetually wore their hearts on their sleeves, sometimes making such utter fools of themselves that I’d rather have disappeared down a hole and never reappeared. One has to however hand it to them for their impeccable resilience, to be able to bounce right back into action. What was it that made boys so important to them that I couldn't fathom?

Don’t get me wrong, I liked boys too, but for other reasons. It was easy to get along with them, they keep you laughing almost constantly, there’s no need to make conversation for the sake of it, and you most definitely don’t have to be sure to notice the new lip colour he is wearing and for once you can be honest when asked have I become fat!

This was who I was- a typical rebel. But something changed somewhere along the way, I too experienced the feeling that I had found incomprehensible for the longest period in my life. Romance and mushiness is I guess ingrained in every girl, there’s no escaping it and I too fell a prey.

Well what can I say? Some things just cannot be explained, they need to be experienced and this is definitely one of those. With this wonderful someone in my life, I learnt things that I never knew about myself. Doing things by yourself is not always a sign of independence and turning to another for support not a sign of weakness. Being a source of strength and even inspiration for my significant other filled with a special kind of warmth – an emotion I had no idea I was capable of experiencing.

Life however was not a bed of roses. Despite all the happiness and the warm and fuzzy feelings, I too experienced my fair share of problems. But the trick I realized along the way, is to not lose yourself in a quest to win your partner’s approval. Communicate, discuss, debate even fight it out, but don’t give up something you are sure you want. If your loved one doesn't love you for who you are, then what is the point? A relationship is a beautiful bond where the two people love understand and accept each other for being the unique individuals they are.

Ha! Can you believe I’m offering relationship advice now? Love does funny things to you indeed. I’m glad I have a special someone in my life. However take it from me, if you are happy by yourself, there’s no earthly reason to set out on a hunt for that ‘one’.

Cheers to all you lovely people reading this. Life is way too short to worry. Live and let live. Have a great day!

Realisation

His face was peaceful with deep sleep, all the angry lines smoothed out. Hannah watched emotionless as her husband slept soundly, as if nothing had happened. Hannah would have almost dismissed the memory of the fight as a figment of her imagination, had it not been for the shattered glass on the kitchen floor.

Her eyes welled up with tears as she slumped down on the floor beside the bed. The fights, the disagreements between Tommy and her had gone from bad to worse. Nowadays, not a single night passed without a disagreement between them.

She rummaged her desk and took out a worn-out leather bound diary, one of her most treasured possessions. Her clumsy fingers dropped it to the floor. It fell open to reveal an old photo of Tommy and her. It was a snap taken at Tommy’s birthday about four years ago. Covered in chocolate, they were grinning widely as they indulged in a lavish cake fight. Not being particularly fond of big crowds, they traditionally celebrated birthdays at each other’s place with few close friends. She had baked that cake especially for him. How much he loved her cooking. Almost every date of theirs had been a celebration of the success of her numerous cooking experiments. The memory seemed almost painful now.

Where had all that happiness gone? She hardly baked anymore. She couldn't remember the last time she had snuggled in bed beside Tommy, just talking. They had become two mechanical beings living in the same space. Each caught up in his own world. Even as her train of thoughts continued, realisation hit her hard. She tried to fight it off. No, they both had needed her to take that job, she tried to convince herself. Tommy had lost his job and they were facing difficult times, she tried to reason with herself. But deep down inside, she knew better. Even after Tommy had found a new job, she hadn't quit. Well, the extra money didn't hurt. Or maybe it did.

As she leafed through the pages of her recipe book, still intact except for a little moth-eaten at the edges, her heart already felt lighter. She couldn't imagine how she had stuck to her boring job for so long. Finally she had gotten her priorities right.

Hardly an hour later, was her home fragrant with the baking. The scent of vanilla essence and rich cocoa hung thickly in the air. As she took huge gulps of this delicious air, contentment was at its fullest. Her life was back on track. She resumed her position on the floor beside the bed. But this time, lovingly she watched him snore.